How To Not Trigger Someone with An Eating Disorder
When someone you care about is dealing with an eating disorder, it’s natural to want to help, but it can be tough to know what to say or do without feeling like you might say the wrong thing. Even though you can’t make them change, being there to offer your support and gently encourage them towards treatment can be a big step in their recovery. In this blog, we’ll talk about some common triggers to be mindful of when supporting a friend with disordered eating.
3 Topics to Avoid to Not trigger an Eating Disorder
Don’t comment on their appearance or weight.
Although your intentions may be good, it’s important to remember that eating disorders are complex and often tied to emotions. Even if someone looks healthy and well, they might still be struggling on the inside. Comments like ‘You look great’ or ‘You’re not underweight’ can be hard for them to hear, as eating disorders can affect people of all shapes and sizes. Even saying ‘You look healthy’ might be misunderstood, as they could associate ‘healthy’ with ‘fat,’ which could trigger unwanted feelings or behaviors.
Avoid talking about dieting, calories, weight, or exercise
These topics, even though they’re common in everyday life, can be really tough for someone who’s struggling with their relationship with food. For example, when we talk about diets or label foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ it can make someone feel guilty or stressed about their own eating habits. Similarly, mentioning your weight or body image might lead them to compare themselves to others, which can be really hard on their self-esteem. Exercise is another sensitive subject. Many people with eating disorders have a complicated relationship with exercise—it might range from feeling like they need to work out too much to avoid it completely. Conversations about exercise routines or fitness goals might unintentionally encourage unhealthy behaviors. These kinds of discussions can bring up a lot of difficult emotions, like anxiety or shame. To cope with these feelings, someone might turn to behaviors like binge eating, purging, or restricting food. While these behaviors might offer temporary relief, they ultimately make the situation worse.
Don’t comment on their eating habits
It’s really important not to comment on someone’s eating habits, even if you’re trying to help. It might seem natural to say something like, ‘Why don’t you eat a little more?’ or ‘Maybe just eat less?’ but for someone with an eating disorder, it’s not that simple. Eating disorders are complicated mental and physical conditions, and it’s not just a matter of choice or willpower. When you make comments about what or how much someone is eating, it can make them feel like they’re to blame for something that’s actually beyond their control. These disorders are often tied to deep emotions and struggles that make it incredibly hard for them to change their behaviors, even if they really want to. Hearing remarks about their eating can make them feel ashamed, guilty, or frustrated, like they’re not doing enough or letting others down. This can sometimes make things worse, as they might become more secretive or feel even more stuck in their behaviors.
Bottom Line to Avoid Triggers
Remember, eating disorders aren’t just about food or appearance—they’re often a way someone tries to cope with difficult feelings or situations. Instead of focusing on their eating habits or how they look, try offering support in a way that doesn’t revolve around these aspects. Let them know you’re there for them, that you care about how they’re feeling, and that you understand how tough this is. Encourage open, judgment-free conversations where they can talk about their feelings, and remind them that they don’t have to face this alone.
