Breaking away from All-or-Nothing Mentality
Do you ever feel like establishing a balanced relationship with food is a bit tricky when your eating plan isn’t picture-perfect? Do your thoughts about food cast a shadow on your overall approach to eating? Maybe you’ve caught yourself sorting foods into strict categories of “good” or “bad” without leaving any room for moderation. Does a meal or snack have to be a perfect match with your nutritional ideals for you to fully enjoy it? If you find yourself nodding along, you might be dealing with all-or-nothing thinking. This mindset, also known as black-and-white thinking, involves seeing thoughts or actions as purely “good” or “bad,” and having difficulty with flexible thinking.
For some, this is a constant battle in their eating habits or when following diets. Sometimes, every choice feels like it determines whether we’re “good enough” or not. Giving in to a craving might make us feel like we’ve failed, and we might think, “I can’t have that because it’s ‘bad’ for me,” or “I had a treat today, so I’ve totally blown my diet.” But life, including how we eat, needs flexibility. Food isn’t just about fuel; it’s also about connecting with others and experiencing new traditions and flavors.
This way of thinking isn’t just about food; it can apply to many aspects of life, like school, work, social situations, and how we see ourselves physically. But it’s important to remember that life isn’t just about black and white; there’s a lot of gray area in between. This mindset can bring a lot of stress, anxiety, and self-criticism, making it hard to feel content.
Struggling with extremes and not giving yourself credit for small victories can be really challenging. It’s tough to expect perfection when none of us are perfect! But you may be wondering, how can I free myself from thinking this way? Well, let’s dive into it.
Recognize and Challenge These Thoughts
If you notice yourself categorizing food as “good” or “bad” or feeling down about a decision you made, try taking a moment to pause. Instead of using those labels, try swapping them out for more positive words like “but,” “or,” and “and.” Remember, all foods, including your favorites, can fit into a balanced diet.
Learn to Live in the Gray Sometimes
Sometimes we get caught up in seeing things as either black or white and forget about the shades of gray in between. It’s important to notice those in-between moments, where we can celebrate even the smallest victories. Instead of thinking, “I had a chocolate bar, now I’m unhealthy,” consider that enjoying a chocolate bar can be a positive choice if it’s what your body craves. Also, don’t acknowledge your wins; you had the food you wanted, and you also treated your body with lots of variety, possibly including a food group like produce, that was previously challenging to remember to incorporate. Celebrate those little wins along the way!
Challenge the Food Police
Having lots of food rules can be draining. It’s not just about holding yourself accountable; it also steals the joy from eating and leaves you feeling isolated. When those “food police” thoughts pop up, challenge them. Food rules will often say things like “you can’t have a dessert after dinner, because you can’t eat after 8 pm” or “you can’t eat out during the week.” Challenge these thoughts and grant yourself the freedom to eat without judgment.
Consider a New Perspective
When something triggers that all-or-nothing thinking, take a moment to jot it down and reflect on the situation before drawing any conclusions. It can be helpful to reach out to a supportive friend, family member, therapist or your dietitian for their perspective. They might help you see the situation differently and recognize small victories or even embrace mistakes. Remember, our thoughts have more power than we realize, and we’re often our harshest critics. Seeking an outside perspective can provide valuable insight!
Be Patient
As you make these changes, think of it as a long-term journey. Be kind to yourself, stay patient, and offer a little grace. Remember, it’s all about progress, not perfection. With each step, you’ll find healthier and more positive ways of thinking. Keep going—you’re doing great!
